Human nature
by Mr.Crouch'sDaughter
Summary: Once upon a time, some student wrote a letter to a teacher. The teacher is now headmaster from Hogwarts, but who was the student? Chapter Four: A second letter.
1. The letter

Disclaimer: all characters belong to Joanne K. Rowling, who's the only one who knows what's the best for them.

Story: Once upon a time, some student wrote a letter to one teacher. The teacher is now the headmaster from Hogwarts, but who was the girl?

Rating: G

Genre: Romance/Drama

Dedicated to: Not sure yetÉ.

Chapter One: The letter

"Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I really hope that you are not too offended by this letter.

You may throw it away, if you like to.

I know I've always seemed very rejecting, but I promise you that it had nothing to do with you.

It's just a part of my personality; it protects me from disappointments and pain.

Well, normally it does.

But now, where we are about to be separated, I feel my protection has failed.

The thought of never seeing you again does not only scare me, but hurts me in a way I have never experienced before.

I will really miss your classes, your talking, your voice, yourself and I can't deny that I have very little slept the last nights.

I would like to tell you this face-to-face, but I fear breaking out in tears and making a complete fool of me.

The thing is, I seem to love you.

I know how childish this sounds and if I could say it was just a crush, I would.

But it wouldn't be honest.

Otherwise, all my failures and mistakes in you class and all my silly comments wouldn't matter so much to me.

I wanted you to be proud of me, but instead of showing that to you, I argued with you.

I really behaved very childish and I hope you will accept my apology.

And though I try to act logically, I cannot help myself from imagining us together, though I know we will never be.

I'm so sorry.

You should laugh about this; I would understand it.

My only wish right now is for you to become happy, no matter if it's even without me.

You are a great man and the wisest person I have ever had the pleasure to meet and I want to thank you for all your help and being.

I hope that you will always remember that, in all the crowd of teachers at this school, to some student you have not been one, but the teacher.

Wishing you the best.

Some student.


	2. Pretending

Disclaimer: See chapter One.

Thanks to all reviewers! It's always a pleasure to know that someone actually reads this g.

Arabella Figg: Thanks. I have updated as soon as possible, for I wanna know where this story is going to lead me.

Romance 4-ever: Thank you. I'm trying to keep it nice, but well- One never knows

Quill of Minerva: Maybe there'll be a letter from Dumbledore I'm not quite sure yet. Hope you nevertheless like the new chapter.

Human nature 

Chapter Two: Pretending

_Let's pretend we never met._

Albus Dumbledore got the letter via owl post on the last official day of school.

He was kind of surprised as the letter fell down on his plate, without any signature.

Normally, all letters he received came from an organisation or a ministry, once or twice he got a letter from Flamel or some of his other well chosen friends.

An anonymous letter was something new, so he decided to put it in his pocket and read it later, when we was alone.

And that was at 16:30 o'clock, when all lessons were over and he sat in his little bureau, drinking a hot cup of tea and eating some lemon drops.

Dumbledore opened the envelope carefully and read the letter slowly; but nevertheless he had to read it two or three times before he understood it.

Really understood it.

After that, he laid the letter on the table, folded his hands and began to think.

What he knew was that one of his students had wrote him a letter.

But who?

It was clear that it had to be one of his graduating students, for in the letter it said: "We are going to be separated.

Under other circumstances, it could have also been a student who was leaving or had to leave, but a) there was none and b) the graduation was too close to play no role.

Well, it had to be a female student, too, for it was a love letter.

Not that Dumbledore was against homosexuality; he just couldn't imagine a boy fancying him. Not that he really could imagine a girl to do so.

And this student was very smart, for she spoke about her mistakes and had the right view upon things.

He grabbed the letter and read it again.

Sure, a love letter. But also a letter of renunciation.

Who would write that to him?

The teacher closed his eyes for some seconds and as he opened them again, he had an idea.

At 22:30 o'clock, the probably last dinner at Hogwarts for the former seventh graders was over.

Tomorrow, they would all go home, do whatever they pleased and some maybe would never look back again.

Others would maybe remember the time at this school as the happiest in their life and already thought about starting a career at Hogwarts.

One of the students who had both on her mind was Minerva McGonnagall.

As she was walking out o the Great Hall, she was torn apart between trying to feel finally free and break out in tears.

The whole evening she had avoided looking at the staff, especially at one teacher.

But now as she walked out, she had the desperate wish to seem him a last time, just to be able to remember how he looked.

So she turned around, but he wasn't there anymore.

Shocked, surprised and a little bit angry she stepped backwards, until she was out of the hall and knocked against a person.

"I'm so" She looked in the face of the man and immediately made a jump backwards.

"Professor Dumbledore!

"Yes, Miss McGonnagall." He smiled by seeing her blush a little, just a little, but enough to make a real Scottish woman be angry of herself.

"Can I have a word with you?" he asked politely.

There it was. The moment Minerva did never want to come.

'He knows', she thought. 'Oh, why did I even write these stupid letter?!

"Of course, Professor", she said, trying to sound matter-of-factly while inside, she was burning of shame.

"Miss McGonnagall, I have received an anonymous letter yesterday", he said.

Minerva swallowed. That was going to be awfully embarrassing.

"I'm afraid, but I do not really know what this has to do with me", she answered.

"Well, I think it was a letter from a student. A love letter.

She was silent for some seconds, then asked: "Shall I try to find out who wrote it?

But Dumbledore didn't answer her.

"Now, the letter was really nice, obviously written by a young adult and I really enjoyed reading it. The thing is, Miss McGonnagall, that I need to find out who it wrote. I have an idea, maybe it's ridiculous, but I have to ask you, if there is something you want to tell me, Minerva.

He looked in her eyes.

Deep blue greyish eyes, reflecting her own face.

ÔIt was me!' Something inside her screamed. 'It WAS me and I love you! We are made for each other, I know it!

Minerva took a deep breath. 'Damn me, damn me, damn me.

"I'm sorry, Professor, but I cannot help you on these case. I will try to find something out, but you know, this is our last evening and

"I know", Dumbledore sighed, suddenly looking sad. "And I do not want to ruin it. I think if the author wants to stay anonymous, I have to respect it. Now, Minerva. I wish you the best. I know if you want it, you can get it, You're a strong person.

'And a wonderful woman,' he thought, but didn't dare to say it.

"Thank you, professor.

He nodded, then turned around and went upstairs without looking back again.


	3. Decisions

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

Thanks to all reviewers! Actually, I wanted the story to go a different way, but then, it would have been already over

Emutet: Thanks. Yes, they were sooo close, romance was in the air But not with our little Miss McGonnagall

Strawberry Blonde Chick: Okay, new chappi. Hope you like it. And forgive me the cliffhanger at the end of it

Romance 4-ever: Poor Dumbledore! Maybe I let him suffer till the very end **evuilgrin**. Ah, well and I hereby declare that all mistakes are not my fault, but the fault of my nationality. **smiles**

Arabella Figg: Thanks. As you see, I went on very quick.

Griselda La Fey: She really should have told him. But hey, that would have been much too easy!

Human nature 

_Chapter Three: Decisions_

Five years later, a thoughtful Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster from Hogwarts since two years, was pacing up and down in his bureau.

After an hour of concentrated thinking and trying to leave all emotions out of business, he finally decided to send the letter that was lying on his table.

The same evening, he wondered about how the past was influencing decisions that were made nowadays.

A week later, Minerva McGonnagall sat in a little cafZ in London, a cup of coffee in her hands and watched the rain falling down on the streets.

Why did everything have to be that complicated?

_"Because you're making it complicated!" _she heard Rosalie say, the girl she loved with while she was studying.

"I cannot understand you, Min. What are you searching for? You are the best graduating student of this year, many schools are dying to get you and you got one of the nicest men in the world as your boyfriend. I mean, are you chasing a phantom or what?

_"No Rosalie. It's just that I cannot forget him_

_Rosalie sighed. "Oh my goodness! Minerva, I thought this fuss about your mysterious great love would have been finally over when John started to go out with you! And now you play the same song again!_

_"I see his face. Everywhere, everytime. I wonder what he would think of me. I even imagine that it is him and not John who kisses me._

_"Minerva, now your getting ridiculous! I never thought I would see the great logical Minerva McGonnagall fall, but you are absolutely talking nonsense!_

_"I got a letter, you know. He wants me as a teacher at his school. I could go back._

_"Yeah, of course. And he would fall right into your arms and propose to you", Rosalie said sarcastically._

_"That's not the point_

_"Minerva, that's the real life and not one of your penny dreadfuls! Are you really risking everything you have just to live near a man that will never love you?!_

Minerva sighed. She had thought about this conversation a million times, but what was she about to do?

She did not love John, that was clear, but she liked him. And he adored her.

Why run away to a man that would never do that?

Though he was her great love, was he worth it?

She kept sitting there for a while, then stood up and went right home.

The next morning, Rosalie awoke by the sound of something falling down. She groaned, turned around and stood up.

As she went in the living room, she saw her best friend standing there with two bags.

"What the heck are you doing here, Min?

"Rosalie!" Minerva shouted surprised.

"Yeah, that's my name. Are you going?

Minerva nodded.

"Running to that man, I suppose?

"Yes.

"Well, if that's your decision Min, I think I will respect it, though I cannot understand you. I only hope you will not live your life in loneliness.

And Rosalie went back to bed, leaving her friend with a desperate and unsure look upon her face.

Hogwarts was still the same.

As Minerva entered it (the door had been opened by a new porter that she had never seen before), she was suddenly drowning in a storm of feelings.

She wanted to run away, but before she could make a single step backwards, the man had already closed the door and told her to follow her.

Some minutes later, she found herself before Dumbledore's bureau and all of sudden, she regretted her decision.

"Dustbin", the man said and the entry to Dumbledore's bureau opened.

"There you go", he said and walked away.

Slowly, Minerva entered.

Dumbledore was sitting in his chair, writing something. As he heard the quiet footsteps approaching, he looked up.

For a short second, he was so overflown with joy that he wanted to embrace the woman in front of him, but then he remembered that, since the letter, five years had gone by.

Even if Minerva had been the author, who knew if her feelings towards him were still the same?

Minerva, at the same time, tried not to show any affection at all, she looked coolly, almost stern, whilst inside, she was so happy to see him again that all her fears were gone.

"Miss McGonnagall", Dumbledore finally said, waiting for an interruption, waited for her to tell him she was now Misses Smith or Baker or whatever.

But she just nodded.

"Well, I didn't quite expect you to come hereÉ Without writing me back before.

"I came here to tell you personally that I would like to accept your offer. If you still want me.

"If I wouldn't want you, I would not have written the letter to you. Welcome back, Miss McGonnagall. I hope you will have a great time here and stay long.

"We shall see", she said calmly.

But she stayed. And lived in loneliness, like Rosalie had feared.

Feeling comfortable next to the man she secretly loved, she did not risk ruining the friendship they had built up in any way.

But Dumbledore could never forget the letter and kept on searching a sign that could convict Minerva of being the author.

Years passed by and a long time should go by until a second letter was written


	4. All good things must end

Disclaimer: See Chappi One.

Thanls to all reviewers. Well, thinking about it, I believe I will write the next chapter on Sunday.

Romance 4-ever: A second letter. I take your wish as my order.

CEA: Thanks. I already have a beta-reader, but her internet doesn't work. So I'm left outside alone. Hope it's not too bad.

Strawberry Blonde Chick: Addicted? Hm. Sounds like I have to finish this smiles.

Arabella Figg: Romantic? Think about the poor John! (Okay, who actually cares?!)

Morgan-Alex: There it is. Thanks for reviewing.

Human nature

_Chapter Four: All good things must end_

When the pain began to come regularly, Minerva McGonagall knew that she was really ill.

And when Poppy sent her to St. Mungos, she knew that it was serious.

So when the doctor told her he wanted to speak with her in private, she wasn't very surprised.

"Miss McGonagall", the elder man said, "I'm afraid to tell you that you have a serious disease that we call Aestortiae. It's a very aggressive form of what the Muggles call cancer."

She nodded. "What healing methods do you suggest?"

The doctor lent back in his chair. "There is none".

She stayed calm. "How long?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Years. Months."

Minerva stood up. "Thank you, doctor. Though the result is not quite what I expected, I think it's good to know where the pain comes from".

"If I can help you in any way" he gave her his card.

She nodded, then went out the door.

While leaving, she threw the card in a dustbin.

Back in her bureau, Minerva sat down in her chair.

And again, the same old question was spinning in her head.

What now?

All the years, she had thought that, someday, the perfect moment would come to confess that she had written the love letter, to confess that she loved Albus Dumbledore.

But there was no ,someday' anymore.

_"Well", _she thought_, "Maybe it's just not meant to be._

And finally, something inside her broke and she felt some silent tears running over her cheeks.

Impatiently, she wiped them away.

She had to behave logically.

She was now an adult, not a teenager in love.

She had to act reasonable.

But when she had finished packing her bags and looked in a mirror, she suddenly wondered why reasonability hurt so much.

"What do you mean, you're going?" cried a shocked and surprised Poppy as McGonagall had told her all about her disease.

"I think you would understand it. I need silence and prefer not to die while I'm giving a lesson", the woman answered coolly, "I do not want my funeral to be a celebration of some young children that are happy because their lessons are cancelled.

"But I cannot understand Dumbledore, really, that he let's you go"

Minerva looked down.

And suddenly, Poppy understood. "You haven't told him, have you?

"I wrote him a letter. I do not think it's necessary to worry the headmaster with my personal life.

The nursemaid shook her head. "Really, I never imagined you'd turn out as a coward, Miss Minerva McGonagall. That's not usual for Gryffindors.

"I'm not a coward. I just do not think it is worth to waste the headmaster's worthy time with such things.

"Yes, now he will only waste his time with thinking why you didn't tell him personally. You are friends, would you please consider this?

"Oh yes, we are friends", Minerva said cynically. "Good old friends.

Poppy starred at her and after some seconds, she asked: "Isn't that a reason to tell him?

"Now, Poppy, that's a reason not to tell him.

"I don't understand you, Minerva.

All of sudden, the other woman looked tired. "Don't worry. I don't understand either. It doesn't matter. Maybe I'll send you a card.

"Wait! Where are you going?" But she had already left.

Since Minerva's first letter, Dumbledore had received a lot of letters without a _trace_ of the author most written by his enemies.

So when he got the second letter from her, he wasn't too surprised about it.

The surprise came when he recognized the handwriting.

_"Dear Albus,_

_I really hope you can forgive me my cowardice and understand why I am acting the way I act._

_I'm leaving this school well, while you're reading this letter, I already left._

_It doesn't matter why, let me just say I am ill and do not think it would be good for me if I taught any longer._

_Though I really enjoyed teaching, I think it is necessary for me to do this step._

_It was really a hard decision to make, but well, someday all good things must end._

_If it was possible for me to stay longer, I surely would. Not only because I like teaching, but also because I enjoyed your company and our friendship._

_I will really miss our conversations and I want you to know, that you were the reason why I never had the intention to leave, though I would have had the possibility._

_Well, you were the reason while I came and you were the reason why I stayed._

_I only wanted you to know that._

_And now, before I write these last lines, I have a wish and I hope you will respect it: Never try to find me._

_I do not want to see you again, because I do not want the destruction of the memory I have of you._

_As long as I get no reply of you, I can live in silence._

_And because I know you will respect my wish, I am now able to tell you that it was me who wrote the letter you got at my graduation, like you already suspected._

_It is also true that I was in love with you and to be totally honest, I am still in love with you. I have been through all the years, but I know that I am not the kind of person that could make you happy._

_And so, I was satisfied with being next to you and I think I will miss you the most._

_I could never imagine a life without you, but I know it would hurt you more than me to see my life end and I do not want to see you suffer because of someone like me._

_If I have lost your respect now, please accept my excuse._

_I never thought I could be so foolish, but after all, love is not love, when it alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove._

_I have told myself a thousand times that I should forget you, but I never could._

_So in the end, it will be better if we never meet again and I will be able to remember all the good times we had together._

_Yours_

_Minerva McGonagall_


End file.
